Boys will be boys Lack of support hurled Perth bullying victim further down the abyss

It was a moment Bella’s mother Josie Henderson will never forget, and triggered her daughter’s long struggle with self-harm and suicidal thoughts.

“I still remember what we were wearing and the smell in the room as the teacher said, ‘boys will be boys’ to my daughter as she sat there sobbing in the principal’s office,” she said.

Broken by repeated bullying at school, Bella is now trying to reclaim her mental health.

“It was just heartbreaking.”

Bella was only 10 years old.

Previously she had been a happy child, with a happy upbringing, who had never experienced mental health issues.

But in year 5 a gang of boys started bullying her severely and when the family turned to the teacher and school principal for help they were told in no uncertain terms to “toughen up”.

“I was left feeling like I was a terrible, over-reactive mother who was just making a scene for the sake of it,” Mrs Henderson said.

Bella developed severe anxiety and depression and began to self-harm, all because the adults who were meant to protect her wouldn’t, her mother said.

So they changed schools. But even then children continued to cruelly taunt her about her state of mind.

Bella, who is now in year 8, attends a three-day intensive therapy program weekly to help her regain confidence.

“There is such a stigma. People assume that if she has mental health issues it’s some sort of bad home life or someone touched her and they assume she’s not living at home with her family,” Mrs Henderson said.

“But she is someone who comes from a happy, stable background; I am happily married to her dad and we lead a normal life. Mental health doesn’t discriminate.”

Bella’s story is part of an ongoing issue in WA public schools where families are being forced to flee bullies as schools fail to grapple with an issue causing children as young as five to develop mental health issues that, in turn, increases the risk of suicide.

A 2020 review by WA Chief Psychiatrist Dr Nathan Gibson found that within the past decade, metropolitan hospitals’ emergency departments experienced a 403 per cent increase in self-harm, suicide risks or attempted suicide in under-13s, and a 214 per cent increase in 13 to 17-year-olds.

Between 2016 and 2019, WA had the second-highest rate of youth suicide among children aged five to 17, at 3.3 deaths per 100,000 people; higher than the national average at 2.4 deaths per 100,000 people, according to the latest Australian Bureau of Statistics data.

Last month Kelsey Taylor, 14, and Ante Sutalo, 13, took their own lives over school bullying issues, which sparked opposition mental health spokesperson Libby Mettam to deliver a grievance motion over early intervention funding in State Parliament.

Even though the Department of Education has provided improved guidelines as of 2020 to youth suicide, it is also increasing school principals’ autonomy over their handling of school issues.

By all reports from families, schools’ key performance indicators do not promote transparency and encourage a culture of whitewashing families’ concerns for the sake of appearances.

The stories that surface on WA families’ Facebook posts and to WAtoday share common themes of feeling ignored, with the changes in behaviour put upon the victims, not the bullies themselves. Even Perth mother and famous blogger Constance Hall has given a TEDx talk on the subject.

Another mother Claire*, who didn’t want to identify her seven-year-old son, said he recently tried to take his own life after being severely bullied at a state school north of Perth considered notorious for bullying.

She said the principal’s first reaction was “let’s try tomorrow” and asked her to bring her son into school despite his fears.

“They dared to tell me it was because of other trauma in his life because his dad died a few years ago by suicide,” Claire said, breaking down in angry tears over the phone.

“He was too little to remember so don’t you dare say that when it’s clearly bullying.”

Foster mother Kelly* â€" not her real name as she lives in a regional town and her foster child cannot be identified â€" says the school told their foster daughter to stay in clear sight of teachers around the playground or sit in the library to avoid the bullies.

“Further isolating her rather than dealing directly with the bullies and teaching kids to do better,” Kelly said.

“The whole culture is ridiculous. They did ‘Bullying No Way’ at the school and by the end of the week she was hit in the head by a kid in class because he was having a ‘bad day’.”

When they changed schools to move up north for work, their foster daughter again became a target of another bully, who they had to seek a violence restraining order against after she was dragged to the ground by her hair and beaten.

The teachers had to pin the attacker against a wall to end it, Kelly said.

Department of Education deputy director-general Jim Bell said bullying of any form was not tolerated in schools and each WA public school had to have a student behaviour plan that “supports positive behaviour, including measures to prevent and manage bullying”.

“These plans provide school staff with clear and consistent steps for responding to incidents of bullying,” he said.

“This includes support and training for staff to confidently manage incidents as they occur.

“It also ensures that staff, students and parents are aware of the process for reporting incidents of bullying and what to do if they become aware that a student needs support because of bullying.”

Mr Bell said information from school psychologists on specific behaviour management approaches for preventing and responding to bullying incidents was also included.

“Sometimes bullying can result in violence and principals take strong action as outlined in the minister’s plan against violence in schools,” he said.

“Students involved in inappropriate behaviour will face consequences which may include suspensions and loss of their good standing.”

Last year, Education Minister Sue Ellery announced $2.58 million to develop three alternative learning settings (ALS) as part of a plan to help public school principals stamp out increasing violence.

Principals can now expel the worst and most persistently violent students from mainstream schooling and place them in the ALS to address behavioural issues.

In 2019, 45 students were sent to three ALS, with each facility having a maximum capacity of 10 students at any one time.

*Not their real name.

Crisis support can be found at Lifeline (13 11 14 and lifeline.org.au), the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467 and suicidecallbackservice.org.au) and beyondblue (1300 22 4636 and beyondblue.org.au)

Aja Styles is a senior writer for WAtoday.

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